I haven’t posted much the last few weeks. My emotions were pretty shot after the miscarriage and even though Ruby has been such a sweet comfort for me I just didn’t feel up to posting light-hearted pictures with such a heaviness in my heart.
It’s hard to believe that it has been three weeks. We have been so busy, which has been good for me. My parents were in town, then my in-laws came for the weekend. On the 20th we drove up to New Jersey for Matty’s cousin’s wedding and this past weekend we drove up north again for my dear friend Brandis’ wedding in New York City. Ruby stayed with Matty’s parents. This was our first time away without Ruby and it was so nice to just spend some time together. She did great with Mom-Mom and Popsie, who of course took excellent care of her and kept her distracted.
I decided to join a small group at our church and it started up the week after I lost the baby. The group meets on Thursday mornings and is made up of all women. These women, who I didn’t know before a few weeks ago, have been so wonderful. We end the meetings with prayer requests and the first week I asked them to pray for peace for me. That week, peace slowly crept back into my heart. We recently sang this hymn at church:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
I live an easy, happy life, but our recent loss shook me to the core. I felt sorrow like a sea billow rolling over me and nothing but sadness and turmoil in my soul. I am still sad that the baby we wanted so badly and loved so much is gone, but with a little time and a lot of prayer it is well, it is well with my soul.
Loudmouth Mommy 
I am so glad that you are feeling better. Your writing is so beautiful.It brings tears to my eyes.
Thanks Mommy. I love you.
Very well said!! I haven’t heard a better sermon. 🙂 In an interesting parallel, I started a Thursday morning Bible Study looking for peace…and found some! God does amazing things for us through other women. I lost my first baby when I was about 11 weeks along. Life was dark and heavy for a long time, and I have to admit that 10 years and 4 children later, I still feel a void when I think of that child. My sister reminded me that God has numbered all our days, and He starts counting those days before we’re even born. A slight comfort? I’ll keep you in my prayers!!
Thanks so much! So sorry for your loss so many years ago. I was hesitant at first to write about miscarrying, but so many wonderful women have encouraged me with their own stories I am glad that I did it. You’re right too about God numbering our days and it is a comfort to know that as much as I love the baby He loves he or she even more!
I love you Sarah! Let’s have a ladies night soon, I miss you.